essentiallylogical

My New #1 Pet Peeve

In Thoughts on October 5, 2010 at 2:58 pm

There’s nothing worse than sitting on a plane next to someone you don’t know who quickly falls into a sleep so deep that, not only do they snore (that’s almost a given when you’re squished in coach for 5 hours) but, you’re unable to wake them by neither the subtle bump of your shoulder against theirs nor the not-so-subtle slam of their tray being released from the seat in front of them onto their lap by – well now who would’ve done that?

Unfortunately, there’s something MUCH worse than an incoherent neighbor with sinus congestion: a completely coherent individual who’s audible overabundance of saliva seems to keep from leaving their mouth as they chew only by the quick reaction of their lips smacking together in retaliation. Ugh! There’s not much that grates on me more than the sound of someone smacking. (But we aren’t discussing talking with one’s mouth full or chewing with one’s mouth in a generally open position, we’re discussing the blatant irresponsibility of a person to meet the social responsibility of utilizing their lips for the benefit the comfort of those surrounding them!)

Listening to a person chew loudly is frustrating, such as when chips are eaten and the lips rarely encounter one another. Chewing loudly with one’s mouth shut is understandable, such as when an apple is eaten and, despite a fully respectable closed mouth void of any smacking action, the sound of crisp apple is still heard as the individual engulfs his or her mid-morning snack. But, listening to a person chew loudly when it is obviously avoidable (and… well, quite frankly, WRONG) is unbearable.

As I flew last Sunday from Maui to Portland, I discovered how disgusting a piece of moist chocolate cake can become in the hands of a serial smacker. But, it wasn’t until I realized the person sitting next to me was popping in a post-meal piece of minty-fresh gum that I recoiled in horror! The thought of something that can be chewed – Neigh! Horrifically and professionally smacked – without the need to swallow brought me to mental tears. As seemingly never-ending salvia began to echo from inside the mouth beside me I thanked God for iPods and quickly slipped in my earbuds, happy to drown out the pet peeve sitting beside me with some good ol’ Rock and Roll.

A man after my own heart!

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  1. I’m into pet peeves and pet hates too – big time! If you’re interested, you might check out my cartoon blog at http://www.cartoonsbysheila.wordpress.com
    Cheers, Sheila

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